Jess' World Crumbles
by TL22
Summary: This story started off as an outline for "TYL has developed into a story that only superficially resembles this. So I decided to take the outline and make a one shot story out of it. Jess realizes that his life is a lie and nothing is as he thought it was.


**A/N **Originally this was an outline of another story. While the other story bares a superficial resemblance to this work, it has been drastically changed. The change was so different I decided to rewrite and make this a stand-alone story

**Jess's World Crumbles**

Jess sat on the marital bed he shared with his wife Rory and lit a cigarette. He knew that Rory hated it when he smoked and even more so when he smoked in the house. Right now he really didn't give a crap what Rory thought. His whole life had been a lie. Sitting on the floor between his legs was a glass half full of Bourbon he had brought into the bedroom. Jess reached down between his legs and picked up the glass. He looked at the amber liquid for a second then took a healthy drink and set the glass down.

Jess noticed that the ash on his cigarette was getting long; briefly he looked around for an ashtray out of habit. Why would there be an ashtray in the bedroom? With a flick of his wrist he flicked the ash onto the light gray carpet. His world sucked. Jess let his mind wander back to the still ongoing town 4th of July celebration. It seemed like a life time ago, but actually it had not even been an hour. With shocking clarity he realized that his whole life had been a lie.

His cigarette was finished, without looking around; he ground it out on the glass nightstand. Jess then leaned back on the bed. He closed his eyes, but there was no way sleep was going to come nor did he want to sleep. He needed to think.

Jess let his mind wander back to the beginning. He had returned to Stars Hollow to attend his mother's wedding to TJ. A wedding he really did not want to attend, but Luke talked him into it. The wedding went better than he had anticipated and in spite of himself he actually had a good time. There was one more piece of unfinished business in Connecticut he had to attend to, Rory.

He had found out through the grapevine that Rory was still at Yale. He was going to stop and see her. To his surprise when he arrived there was the idiot Dean standing with Rory by the entrance to her dorm room. Ignoring Dean he told Rory that he needed to talk to her. Dean started to say something, but Rory hushed him and sent him packing.

Jess remembered following her into her dorm room. The first thing he noticed that everything she had was packed. This was perfect. He asked her to come with him to New York. She said no. Finally he told to say no if you really mean it. She still said no. Jess remembered his humiliation as he slunk away.

A little over a month later he received the surprise of his life. One rainy morning he answered the knocking at his door and to his surprise there stood Rory with three suitcases. He never forgot her words. "I was wrong Jess. I want to be with you." All lingering remorse and hurt from his earlier rejection vanished.

Jess sat up and lit another cigarette. He inhaled deeply and let the smoke seep out slowly through his nose. New York quickly went bad for him and Rory. Time after time he was turned away from perspective jobs. They didn't care how smart he insisted he was. No high school diploma no job. He finally wound up waiting tables at a diner in Queens. Rory fared somewhat better she was able to land a job as a receptionist. Not great Jess thought to himself, but workable. After a few weeks Rory told him she was pregnant. Jess fought an impulse to run. He had no medical insurance and how long could Rory keep on working?

Without telling Rory of his decision he called his uncle Luke and related to him his situation. There was silence on the phone. Finally his uncle spoke. "Jess you just know how to make a bad situation worse without trying. As you know Lorelai is furious with you for taking her daughter away from her. But I think if you man up for a change and marry the girl Lorelai will forgive you. Come back here, you and Rory can stay with me and I'll take care of your medical expenses. You can work off what you are going to owe me by working at the diner.

Jess looked at his glass of bourbon; it was low. He walked to the kitchen and filled his glass. Sitting at the kitchen table he leaned back in his chair, Rory hated when he did that, but right now he didn't care what Rory thought. Again he let his mind wander back to the past and the events that brought him to the present. Rory had a daughter and they named her Emily in honor of Rory's grandmother.

Luke moved in with Lorelai and gave the upstairs apartment to the couple. It was convenient as Jess had to get up early and get the diner ready for the day.

Over the course of the next twelve years his life with Rory was okay, but nothing like he dreamed of. He resented her for tying him down with the child. Rory barely responded to his various moods till one day she had enough of his what she called arrogance and sulkiness. They had a big blow out. The friction caused by the blow up subsided after a few days. They went back to being what he thought was normal. The only thing different was that at times she would stop what she was doing and stare off into space; then after a moment Rory would continue her task.

Rory worked for her mother at the Inn and he worked for Luke. Some day they were going to be quite well off Eventually Rory would get the Gilmore money and he would get Luke's, but in the mean time they had to work. It was not as if they were struggling. The elder Gilmores were quite generous and so were Luke and Lorelai. Maybe it was naming the baby after Emily that softened her, but Jess knew she still looked down her nose at him.

Today was the day Jess found out his whole life was a lie. He stood and picked up the sugar bowl and hurled it against the kitchen cabinets. The bowl exploded in a white mist and shards were everywhere. Jess then punched a hole in the wall and hit a two by four; with a yelp of pain he cradled his hand to his abdomen with his other hand. Again he sat down and drank straight from the bottle.

The day started off just like most others, Stars Hollow was having a 4th of July celebration at the town square, but Stars Hollow had so many festivals and celebrations it was in Jess's mind nothing to get excited about. They went to the celebration at eleven o'clock. The square was just starting to fill up. Jess bought a beer in a paper cup. He was wandering aimlessly through the crowd. In spite of living in Stars Hollow for about twelve years he had very few friends. Gatherings like this and people having fun bored him. Then he saw her, Lindsay Forester, tall, blonde, elegant. Her clothes fitted her beautifully. Everything she had on was tailored. And except for a gold cross at her throat and the very large diamond on her left hand she was unadorned with Jewelry.

Lindsay being here meant that the idiot Dean was someplace around. Dean and Lindsay had left Stars Hollow shortly after he and Rory retuned. Over the passing years he would see Lindsay and Dean, but never spoke to them. He knew that Dean went to college and eventually so did Lindsay. Somehow they did while having two daughters, whose names he did not know nor did he care to know. Dean had made it big in the construction industry rapidly rising to Vice President of Trans-America construction. He knew that Dean drove a Hummer. A car that fit Dean perfectly in his mind; big and useless. Dean arrived and handed Lindsay a cup. He watched Lindsay smile and briefly touch Dean's cheek with her free hand. They turned and walked away; unaware of his looking at them.

Jess was Jealous of Dean. Dean made it on his own while he knew in the future he would be much wealthier than Dean; he was still a waiter in a diner.

It was a couple of hours later when Jess realized his whole life was a lie. His daughter Emily had found Dean's eldest daughter they were about the same age and knew each other casually, but this was the first time Jess had really paid attention to them together. They were sitting side by side at a picnic table; their backs to the table. They were giggling and laughing

Jess knew after less than a minute of looking at them his whole life was a lie. He now knew why Rory had joined him in New York. He wasn't looking at two friends; he was looking at two sisters. Their mannerisms, the shape and color of their eyes, the nose; Rory had slept with the married Dean and finding herself pregnant she came to him and led him to believe that the child was his.

Jess stood up from the table. He knew what he was going to do; what his instinct told him to do when he found out Rory was pregnant, run. Jess then walked into the bedroom and packed his bag. He'd empty out the bank account first thing in the morning and get as far away from Stars Hollow as possible. California seemed like a good place.

The End


End file.
